So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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