I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
