capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
