Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
