I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
