good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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