We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
