would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
