she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Randomize
