I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
