Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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