So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
