A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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