YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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