Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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