thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
