oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
