just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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