yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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