I think i sorta joined a cult last night
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
