omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
