my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
