i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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