i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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