I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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