Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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