How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
