At least make sure they are 18
Why
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Randomize