I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
