I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
