Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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