idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
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