he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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