So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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