You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
literally had 100 drinks last night.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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