I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Found your dick twin last night
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I won't apologize to a one balled man
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
So here I am, sexting at work.
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