So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
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