I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
only you would photoshop your dick
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
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