hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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