you guys were way drunker than both of me
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
