Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
