Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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