Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
