just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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