what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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