seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I think your dad took our porno
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
