Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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