i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize