It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
