White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
