God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
