Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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