God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
My pussy is not your playground.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Randomize
