I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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