I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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