Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
