Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
