Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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