Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
