haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
so explain again why im purple
no
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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