ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize
