Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
