Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize